Not sure if you’ve ever moved before but I’m pretty good at it. I first moved to Arizona from Oregon when I was 24 years old. I grew up in Oregon and lived in 2 houses that I can remember. I left my comfort of routine and normalcy and moved out for the first time ever (yes at 24) to sunny Arizona and never looked back. I looked straight forward. I went down there because I got a job as a School Counselor and needed a job. I didn’t know a soul, besides a grandmother I wasn’t super close with. Needless to say, it’s important to get connected.

After being in Phoenix for 7 years I married an Air Force Pilot which means I started to move every couple years. Even after being in Phoenix 7 years it took a while to get connected. If you are new to an area and looking to get connected know it’s normal to be “out of wack” for a while…maybe a long while. Here are some ways I have found that help me get connected and feel more “at home” and make friends.

I believe being connected to a strong community of like minded people is important to one’s enjoyment of a new place. We are born to relate, communicate, and help each other.

See what is immediately around you and be consistently intentional with it. For example, when I was an Air Force wife it was important to stay connected to the other wives so I would be intentional to be CONSISTENT with attending events/functions. When I was a School Counselor and moved to Arizona I knew nobody so I decided to start with meeting people at my school and at the gym I went to. I also started getting to connected to a church I started attending to as well.

SHOW UP! Girl! Show up in YOUR life! You are living YOUR life! Even if you are alone..Show UP! Find what you love and be bold and confident. Even if you don’t know what you love, show up and try it out. You never know who you might meet. When I moved to Arizona I started my faith walk. I showed up to church by myself. I went everywhere by myself. Get confident in who you are, what you have to offer the world. I would and still do show up to women’s bible study events alone not knowing anybody or where I was going. Why? Because I knew that was what I needed and how I needed to get connected. Show up!

Find your interests: I love fitness, so every time I move, one of the first things is finding a local place to include myself in group fitness classes. Now I teach it I love it so much. Faith is a big part of my life so I get connected through women’s ministries in every place I move. Maybe you are a mom and you are hanging out at your kids’ activities. Talk to other moms there. If something doesn’t groove, try something else. For example, showing up to a small group at church and it may not jive. So what, find another one. I don’t know how many times I tried new things or groups. It doesn’t mean something is wrong, or it didn’t work. Just keep trying. Kind of like dating. LOL You didn’t just stop because one guy didn’t work for you……did you? Maybe you did LOL Thats for another conversation.

Compliment! Complimenting someone has got me far in getting connected. On both sides. Often times it’s over workout clothes, how cute their kids are or something I have. But you need to keep showing up to build those relationships. I recently met a gal I’ve grown to really like here in Charlotte and it all started with a compliment. Have you ever thought of why you have a hard time complimenting someone? Usually it’s because you’re not secure in something. Start thinking about how you can genuinely compliment more.

Be open to everything and attached to nothing. Be open to conversations, trying something new, showing up….alone, and getting out of your routine. Be attached to no job, no person, and open to other opportunities. The only thing I am attached to is my faith and around that comes my connections and opportunities. Be open to mentoring, new courses, new books, old books, older/younger people. I recently got certified to teach a format of fitness that has some yoga in it and I never thought I would teach a yoga style class. It’s now the workout I can’t miss. I am not a yogi, but I am not closed minded to what is out there to reach my potential and impact others.

Lastly, I love friendship. Rest knowing that you are not for everyone. I wish they had a class in junior high titled, “I am not for everyone.” That would have saved me a lot of years of mind games. In the last 10 years I have grown to really understand my strengths and what I have to offer and most importantly I am not for everyone. Think of it like it as marketing. When you are targeted on Facebook for ads, there is a very strategic marketing system they have to target you for a specific reason. That product or service is not for everyone but is sure for someone. Kind of like these nylons. I am not their target market but clearly someone is buying these run down hose for $200 because they are sold out!! ha! Keep these in mind when making friends or selling anything. You are not for everybody.

So get out there and find your fabulous if you are trying to get connected. Keep showing up, trying new things and be open to everything and closed to nothing

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Til next time,